got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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