Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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