i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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