I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
