Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
