He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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