Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
