im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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