dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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