i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
