Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize