when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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