will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
