i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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