he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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