So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
