Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
