i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
