we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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