I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
