come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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