when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
