ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
