I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
