i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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