i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
