I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
