But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
