Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
