I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
