I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
