First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
