Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
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