I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
