Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
