so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
