just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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