I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
