Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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