just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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