wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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