Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
