She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
