she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
