Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
