I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize