What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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