So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
