I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
