ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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