sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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