He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
