i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
