I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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