he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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