How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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