so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
there was a trapeze. enough said
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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